You Don’t Know What You’ve Got Till It’s Gone – In a Good Way

by admin

The discharge orders have come down and we’re just waiting for them to tell us we can go home.

Lyndan is dressed and ready to go.  He isn’t 100% but really, the only reason to stay was to have daily visits from physio and other therapies – we have a medication to help control his nausea and his sight and balance are advancing regularly.  He was just bored and worried wondering why he had to stay.

An idiosyncrasy of mine is taking an absorb amount of introspection to realize what emotions I am feeling.  I know I have them but usually it takes some effort to figure out what they are.  I am realizing, as I have been cleaning my room in the Ronald McDonald House, that I have been carrying a lot of worry and burden while being here.  I have felt like myself, but really, until now, I didn’t realize how heavy it was, now that it’s lifted.  I was telling myself that I was actually in some ways enjoying being absent from all responsibilities, but the truth was there was a lot of weight on my shoulders that I couldn’t feel until now.

Heading home, I am excited.  I am excited to be able to get back to my church, my neighbourhood, and giving myself away again.  I mentioned before how I actually felt selfish having everyone come around us in incredible ways, giving and supporting us in this time, especially because as a pastor I felt like it was my job to be helping, not be helped.  There’s a lesson in here somewhere, and I think it’s the same lesson I have been teaching everyone else about real community and relationships – a lesson that I perhaps had not yet taught to myself.

So, lesson learned – carrying the load of worry and care that I have been, I needed more help than I thought.

And now, to drive home…

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